Real quick update on me

So I’ve been so busy with my life that I haven’t blogged in a year. But it’s okay, because the reasons are because my life is so amazing. I met this amazing guy back in 2013, and we got engaged this May and married in July! I literally couldn’t be happier. He fits everything in my little book PLUS MORE and he helps me every day be as great as he is. But blah blah blah, that’s regular cliche-type stuff that you’ve heard a million times. You will one day know more about him and my new family and all the wonderful happiness that is my life. Until then, consider this the quickest recap on my life, and now I will dive back into the blog, if you don’t mind! 🙂

Can’t Always Feel It

**Excuse me while I give myself a pep-talk.**

You're Never Alone

I have a tendency to hold up all my feelings and pretend like I am happy all the time. It’s not because I feel pressured to be the perfect happy woman, but it’s because I have a hard time letting people in past a certain level–so it just is easier to default to happy-go-lucky (which I usually am anyway).

For the record, that whole keep-a-wall-up is  intensified when people give me an incredulous look and ask “WHY?” when I say I don’t like to just share my feelings with people. IT’S BECAUSE OF THOSE PEOPLE that I feel like I have to carefully pick who I confide in–then usually end up choosing no one. I have very surface level relationships with people, but I crave close relationships. I think everyone does. I just have to find the right people to have those with.

It would also help if people didn’t back-stab, lie, cheat–if they didn’t respond with disinterest or judgmentally, but that’s an impossible expectation.

So I’m working on it, because ignored feelings are unresolved feelings. And because it’s better to open yourself up and suffer the idiots than to just keep it all bottled.

As a result, a new goal is to let people in a little more. Vulnerability and stuff, you know. And to respond better when people do it to me.

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