I’ve decided that I need to keep a list of qualities I want in order to motivate me. So this is what I stare at when I’m at the gym, or debating on whether or not to go to the gym–when I think of skipping class, or giving up on my French.
This is the kind of woman I want to be, and I thought maybe you would appreciate some ideas for yourself–if you don’t really know what kind of person you’d like to be.
She is up-to-date on current events. I chose this trait because so many Americans (dare I say American women) are stereotyped (for good reason) as being completely egocentric and unaware of anyone’s problems but their own. We’re not the only ones on this planet, and ignorance about what’s happening in the world is a fear of mine.
She is conversational in multiple languages. I had a goal in high school to learn 7 languages by the time I was 30. It was a lofty goal, and now I’m just trying to go for conversational! Being able to communicate with as many people as possible is one of my dreams.
She makes connections. I want the hook-ups. I want to be the one that “knows a guy” that can help me get what I want.
She is discerning, witty, and relaxed. I’m fairly uptight at times. I know this because I was playing a game with friends and they had to choose which Winnie The Pooh character I was most like, and everyone chose the Rabbit! So I’m trying to work on that… also, being witty is such an attractive quality. Discernment means having good judgement, for those of you who may not know.
She has an opinion. People have different ideas on whether or not this is a good idea. For me, having an opinion means I’ve thought about situations or circumstances and found where I stand. This way, I can discuss with people and learn why I should strengthen, change, or defend my position–too often do we just float through with no ability to discuss important subjects. This is my anti-airhead weapon.
She says what she means. One of the most difficult qualities for me to understand in people (dare I say women) is that there is almost no complete honesty. It’s always truth wrapped in a little box, or presented in a subversive/manipulative way. I think so many miscommunications could be avoided by people saying what they actually mean to say, of course politely and with tact. Be clear.
She is independent and giving. I prefer to be a giver and not a taker, because it makes me feel better about myself. I would argue that all people thrive under independence and wilt under dependence.
She contributes to meaningful conversations. I don’t want to be the one at the table that giggles and twirls her hair while others discuss important topics. Even if I don’t understand, I try to learn by speaking up.
She is confident and direct. I find it so much more fulfilling to be in relationships (all kinds) where you can express ideas and thoughts directly, without worrying what people are going to say. On that note, don’t care what people are going to think if you tell them you think they’re attractive–or tell them that maybe people would respond better to kindness rather than rudeness. I’d want someone to tell me. It stings at first, but constructive comments and compliments are very rewarding.
She has control over her emotions and impulses. I’m still working on not crying every time I get mildly emotional, and not eating an entire bag of chips when I do. Self control is about delaying instant gratification for long-term rewards.
She travels. This one is important to me, because I want to see the world an experience what life is like all over the world, not just read it. I want to be up close and personal, because how else will I know how I can contribute?
She is unashamed to love herself. I am trying to get to the point where I don’t care what people think of how I look–and learn to think I’m beautiful no matter what. Who knows if I’ll ever overcome that struggle.