It’s been a little over six months since I turned 21. When I turned 21, I wrote a big post of Year 21 Resolutions that I wanted to accomplish until the next birthday. Let’s review:
- Go on dates, but don’t look for or expect them.
- Don’t get serious with anyone until I feel ready.
- Make lots more friends in both genders.
- Kisses mean something.
- Do things boyfriends in the past wouldn’t have “approved” of, like GOING DANCING! EVERY WEEK! Like I used to, and it made me ohsohappy.
- Be a little bit more selfish. Focus on improving myself & my talents.
- Be a little bit more cynical. “How many ladies have you used that line on?” accompanied with an eye roll (but also a smile).
- Actually listen to the opinions of others, but still come up with my own. Don’t automatically reject their suggestions.
- YOU ARE NOT THE EXCEPTION, YOU ARE THE RULE. Say it with me: I AM NOT THE EXCEPTION, I AM THE RULE.
- Don’t ignore red flags or make excuses. Ever again. I don’t care how sweet and sensitive he is, if I can use English properly, be talented in music, communicate well with others, take care of my appearance, and know how to work, I am allowed expect that out of a man as well.
Okay, now let’s see the progress:
- I go every time someone asks, so I think that counts as “so far, so good.”
- More on that later, but SFSG (so far, so good)
- SUPER CHECK MARK! I have so many new people close to me, and such stronger relationships with the older friends.
- …sigh, I’m still trying, but I would say over the past six months the verdict would be “better luck the next six months.”
- I actually can’t handle going dancing every week anymore, but I have lots of nights out with the girl (mostly just Katrin) and they’re adventurous every time. SFSG.
- Yeah, I forgot this was a thing, so I don’t really see too much of a change… BLN6M (better luck next 6 months)
- This is SUPER CHECK MARK too, but I’m starting to think it’s not that good of a thing.
- Yeah, being a political science major this past semester really taught me to make my own opinions, but also I realized how difficult and time-consuming it is to make informed opinions. SFSG.
- I’ve had a couple surprises by forgetting to follow this rule, so I’ll say BLN6M.
- One rather large hiccup a few months ago, but it only took a week to figure it out, so mostly SFSG, but I still need to do better.
Overall, I think I’ve been doing pretty well. I feel a lot differently about everything than I did then…like I’ve calmed down a lot and I’m not as feisty about the topic as I was then. Which is understandable since I had just broken up with someone, but now I feel like I’m this very un-trusting, cynical person who just assumes that no one I’d want would ever want me back! I’m basically afraid to hope that things will work out for me ever, because that stuff happens to people in exceptional cases, not regularly. And I am regular, which brings me to last week and my change of heart:
I have been pretty happy the past six months. I don’t feel like I’ve really wanted anything, I’ve loved being single and working on all my personal qualities I want to change. THEN, I went up to Salt Lake City the first week of January and stayed there with Katrin, and my mind has just totally changed. It might have something to do with the 3 or 4 chick-flicks we watched (which is pretty much 100% more than I watched all of 2012), but I’m totally over being single.
Yes. I said it. But it’s not totally true. I don’t think I’m ready for a boyfriend, but I want all the excitement and suspense and intensity that comes from those stages right before you start dating someone. You know? All the butterflies and analyzing every word, action and expression? That’s what I’m ready for, but I also feel like now’s the time I need to prove to myself that I can be single–at the time when the desire to be so has left me.
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