I saw this hanging up on the wall in a building at BYU, among many other inspirational women posters. This one caught my eye because apparently, this girl shares my name. I’ve passed it a few times, and finally decided to take a picture. Recently, it’s been standing out in my mind, this concept of beauty.
I had a dream that everyone I know and love called me fat and ugly.
Worst dream ever, needless to say, but when I woke up, I couldn’t shake it!
I would notice other people in school and think, “Ugh, I’ll never look like that” or “I wonder how big I must look next to her!” It’s really a depressing state of mind to be in. I realized very quickly that I had a couple options: to walk around as though I’m constantly apologizing for people having to look at me, or just own it and recognize that beauty is so much more than “who’s skinnier or fitter or taller or tanner” or whatever.
That’s why I decided to make my own version. Just with my natural hair, in glasses, in a t-shirt–because I felt it would defeat the purpose if I spent a lot of effort to get ready. The whole goal of this is to recognize my every day beauty, not my “I’m pretty if/when I get dressed up, and only then” photo.
I also decided to add “others did or didn’t,” because in the first photo it says only “didn’t.” I imagine that’s kind of like saying, “even if people don’t think I’m beautiful, I know I am.” Obviously, that’s a wonderful way to look at it. As long as you have confidence and self-esteem, what other people say (or don’t say) can’t truly hurt you long term. Of course, it still stings, but the strong overcome!
I’ve said this a million times, but the only person whose happiness matters is you.
I chose to add “did” because your self-worth should come from yourself (and I’ll personally add God). Whether others tell you you’re beautiful or not, you should know you are regardless. It’s like saying, “everyone tells me I’m beautiful, but I know that even if they didn’t, I still would know my incalculable worth.”
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