Break Up Queen, Not Ashamed

Because this is so long, I should post a photo, taken on 6/26/2011! A year ago yesterday! Man, how things have changed since then…

I have had 3 major break ups in the past 6 months. The first of which was the last of a string of on-and-off break ups in that particular relationship. Before that, I had two other relationships. I haven’t been single longer than 3 months since I graduated high school. In 2009. I am the Break Up Queen. I also need to be single. But hey, if nothing else, I’ve learned I give great advice now!

Why do I bother mentioning things people usually keep to themselves?

Well. In case you haven’t heard, my birthday is the 28th. Tomorrow. And I am in serious need of a new start.

I kind of feel like I need to prove to myself that I can be single. I am all about independence and strength, but as one of my cousins mentioned, maybe I can’t live without the “affections of a man.”

YES I CAN! …I THINK! I don’t know…but I think that’s the point of this whole experiment!

So. New rules of year 21:

  1. Go on dates, but don’t look for or expect them.
  2. Don’t get serious with anyone until I feel ready.
  3. Make lots more friends in both genders.
  4. Kisses mean something.
  5. Do things boyfriends in the past wouldn’t have “approved” of, like GOING DANCING! EVERY WEEK! Like I used to, and it made me ohsohappy.
  6. Be a little bit more selfish. Focus on improving myself & my talents.
  7. Be a little bit more cynical. “How many ladies have you used that line on?” accompanied with an eye roll (but also a smile).
  8. Actually listen to the opinions of others, but still come up with my own. Don’t automatically reject their suggestions.
  10. Don’t ignore red flags or make excuses. Ever again. I don’t care how sweet and sensitive he is, if I can use English properly, be talented in music, communicate well with others, take care of my appearance, and know how to work, I am allowed expect that out of a man as well.

Anyway. That list is on the Internet now, so I should try to stick to it. Of course, that’s not even near close to everything I want to change about myself in year 21. That list would be way too long for the blog.

I was about to apologize for the length, because I’m not done typing yet, but I really don’t need to apologize for that. So I won’t. This blog is for me. I hope it helps others too, at the very least to just get a little more enjoyment out of life.

Family problems is my next topic. The past few days have been unusually concentrated with family problems–across my extended family and immediate. I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to just shout out all the things that are bothering me, so CAN I JUST SAY that being the Break Up Queen has come in handy. Twice.

And also, I really have determined that the only person in your life that won’t let you down ever is God, and even though family is the next most important priority, you really can’t even count on them to not hurt you.

Which is fine. That’s all a part of life, and I’m guilty of hurting my family too. So are you. Probably.

But it’s fine. It’s all fine. What else can we do but move on?

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  1. Firstly A Very Happy Birthday To You!!!!
    I like your list. Sticking with it might be a bit of a challenge, but you can do it if you really want to.
    You know, I purposely did a five year stint of being single, on purpose. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t go out on the occasional date. I did this to prove to myself that I didn’t need to have anyone to impress, be attached to, have cling on to me or me to them.
    I did this with the purpose of discovering me. Being able to live with myself, be comfortable with myself.
    In the process I learned a lot about me. It in fact helped to make me a better person. I actually learned to love myself.
    It also helped me in determining what I wanted in a partner.
    I am not saying that you need to go the extreme that I did, five years is a very long time. But I would suggest that you take some time for you, learn who you are. Learn what you want from life.
    Personally I think that every one needs to take some time to come to grips with who they are and what they want. This is the time to set your goals,
    You are young, live the life of someone that is young. don’t tie yourself down with someone at this stage of your life, get out there and have fun. You only have you to answer to this way, You can do what you want when you want.
    Give it some thought!!! You might surprise yourself.
    Again Happy Birthday and Brightest Blessings to you.


  2. This is a great post, I can really relate to it. I wish I had spent more time being single. Not that I am unhappy being in my relationship, of course. It probably would have done me a lot of good to take that time off though. Also, those are excellent rules to live by. So, congratulations on entering the single life!


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