For some unknown reason, the closing at the end of my posts has been linking to my personal Twitter instead of my blog Twitter…I thought I fixed that MONTHS AGO, but apparently not.
Follow one, follow all! Just wanted to make it clear!
I usually don’t wear animal prints, because I attach this stigma to them that says “cheap,” and other things that just generally surround the opposite of “classy.”
I’ve decided, though…who cares? Go a little wild, go a little crazy.
Do the things that you want to do and just be free!
I say this because recently I did something adventurous and fun and then I felt guilty for it…even though I didn’t do a single thing worth feeling guilty over. I realized that my childhood/teenage restrictions of “NOT ALLOWED” still grip me sometimes. And that made me mad!
I really wish I didn’t let the fear of “not allowed” (whether by society, or personal inhibitions) keep me from doing all the fun stuff I could be doing. So I’ve vowed to change that, because we simply just don’t know how much time we have left–and I’m tired of being so careful! Even when I did my one adventurous act of packing everything I own in the back of my car and moving to California by myself…I still was so careful. I just need to relax and enjoy life, and worry less.
—
Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!
I will never take 17 credits again…but finally, my exams are all over! And I think that I did better than I thought I was going to.
Also, my new sleep schedule has turned me into an old lady: I used to go to bed around midnight and wake up, well, whenever…but now I have to wake up by 6, so I go to bed by 10.
I have to say, though, I really like that I can enjoy the full days!
My new hobby: the travel section of Pinterest.
Boring Sunday update, but this week will be full of joyous, touristy posts since this is my week between Spring and Summer semesters and my family has decided to go everywhere.
Mostly, I just can’t wait to go to St. George this weekend!
More exciting + regular posts to come…
—
Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!
Life is all about perspective. Yesterday, I went to a Peace Forum that talked about survivors of sexual assault and how the culture is different here in the bubble that is Utah. A woman came and spoke, Dr. Niwako Yamawaki, who is a psychology professor at BYU. She did a really good job and had some really interesting research on sexual assault and rape. It’s kind of a heavy topic and I pretty much always leave feeling heavier when these things are discussed, but it was really good for me to hear.
Some of you may know that my plan in life is to do humanitarian work, mainly for women, so going and listening to people tell their stories was almost surreal. Of course, we’ve all read about these horror stories, but to see real people sharing their real stories, was scary! Dr. Yamawaki shared some statistics, one of which was that 31% of reported sexual assaults in Utah are those committed by family members of the victim.
My mother works in criminal law and as I was telling her about how it felt to hear all the stories, she told me how to work in this kind of environment, you really have to remove yourself emotionally. I’ve always been extremely empathetic, so trying to look at everything clinically and not let it upset me…I thought I would be able to do it, but after last night, I’m not so sure.
There are so many people struggling out there. I feel so fortunate to be where I am, and I asked my father yesterday why it is that I have all that I do while other people are struggling all around. He said something interesting, that I believe–something along the lines of “some people are prepared to help other people.”
Read more on the event I went to last night here.
—
Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!
Walking apologies:
People who walk around like they’re constantly sorry you have to see them.
Example:
That person that gets up during class and has to walk out for whatever reason. They slouch, hunch their shoulders up to their ears and pull their sleeves over their wrists (or fold their arms really tightly) while they walk out, head bowed. And they make that face, like a strained smile, as if they’re trying to add humor to deflect from how uncomfortable they feel. I know you know what I’m talking about. It’s usually women, I’ve noticed, and it really bothers me!
I think they do it because they know people are looking at them and they don’t want them to. I don’t think they realize how much more obvious they make themselves when they behave that way. You know what would be better? Just walking like a normal person. When you’re body language is screaming “DON’T LOOK AT ME WALKING IN FRONT OF ALL YOU AND ALSO I’M TRYING TO LOOK REALLY SMALL BY SQUISHING MYSELF INTO AS CLOSE AS I CAN GET TO A BALL,” people are definitely going to look at you more. I mean, just go ahead and run out with a jacket over your head, we all know that’s what you’d rather do.
Walk like a normal person. Yes, people are going to look at you, because you’re getting up and walking out of something where everyone else is sitting. But whatever. Nobody sits and thinks, “that girl is such a slacker, she’s probably going to fail all the tests.” No one cares. You’re just a moving object, so we turn and look and then forget almost immediately…unless you walk out like you’re trying to sink into your turtle shell, then I wonder what you possibly could be doing to look so guilty.
Have some confidence. And stop laughing at yourself every time you say something wrong or stumble over your words. Just move on like a normal person, and PLEASE, for the love of all things, DON’T make that “blblblblblblblbl” noise when you get tongue-tied.
I found this letter in one of my old journals from high school. I forgot all about it, but it was a letter I did during a church activity, just for fun. I have no recollection of what’s in the letter, but from the “to Hot Stuff,” I imagine it will be teenager gold one day.
If I remember correctly, the point is to open it after I get engaged to make sure that I’ve picked the right person, or something. It doesn’t make much sense because once you’re engaged, a letter you wrote yourself when you were like 15 is bound to contain a vastly different outlook on what kind of person you wanted to marry. I’m pretty sure my top requirement was good-looking and a sense of humor!
If only, if only, a sense of humor and good looks was enough.
Also, a thing that’s annoying, is that who knows when I’ll ever open that! I like more certain gratification, so when I started my most recent journal, I decided to write myself a letter not to be opened until I fill up every page. Since it’s like my 3rd or 4th journal, I have no doubt I’ll actually do it.
The reason I do it, is to fill the letter with things that are important to me, then see how much things have changed when I finally open it! Here’s what the letter contains:
It’s really a fun letter and I’m excited to see how much I’ve changed when I finally read it! I wrote it August 11, 2012. It’s already almost been a year and I don’t even think I’m halfway through my journal!
I encourage you to write yourself one of these letters and set a specific goal to yourself as when you can open it. Ideas:
The list goes on. Set a goal, then write a letter to yourself that you can read when you accomplish it! It’s a great motivation and reward.
—
Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!
**Excuse me while I give myself a pep-talk.**
I have a tendency to hold up all my feelings and pretend like I am happy all the time. It’s not because I feel pressured to be the perfect happy woman, but it’s because I have a hard time letting people in past a certain level–so it just is easier to default to happy-go-lucky (which I usually am anyway).
For the record, that whole keep-a-wall-up is intensified when people give me an incredulous look and ask “WHY?” when I say I don’t like to just share my feelings with people. IT’S BECAUSE OF THOSE PEOPLE that I feel like I have to carefully pick who I confide in–then usually end up choosing no one. I have very surface level relationships with people, but I crave close relationships. I think everyone does. I just have to find the right people to have those with.
It would also help if people didn’t back-stab, lie, cheat–if they didn’t respond with disinterest or judgmentally, but that’s an impossible expectation.
So I’m working on it, because ignored feelings are unresolved feelings. And because it’s better to open yourself up and suffer the idiots than to just keep it all bottled.
As a result, a new goal is to let people in a little more. Vulnerability and stuff, you know. And to respond better when people do it to me.
—
Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!
