Category Archives: Miscellaneous

Tinder, Am I Right?

I wrote this song months ago, and just finally decided to put this up on the Internet. It’s not the most perfect recording job (by any means), but I just really wanted to discuss my love-hate with Tinder.

For anyone that doesn’t know, Tinder’s an app on iOS/Android that is basically dating within 50 or so miles of you. You can like or dislike someone’s photo, and they never know unless you both like each other’s and then it’s a match and you can talk to each other blah blah blah.

I got Tinder ages ago because my bestie Katrin had it and loved it and I was like–attention from random strangers? YES. And I ate it up for a while–then it made me feel depressed because I realized how superficial it was, and it’s been on-again-off-again ever since.

If anyone is wondering, been on a handful of dates: one of which is now an inside joke among me and my guy friends because of how ridiculous the guy acted.

Then I made a song about all the first lines I’ve gotten from guys when they discover we’re matched together.

Being in Utah, I imagine the first lines elsewhere can be quite a bit sketchier–so please do share if so.

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

How To: Get out of a rut

I know I’m not the only one who feels stuck sometimes: like I’m not moving forward, stagnant… some days I just wake up feeling gross, fat, alone, etc etc like every other human being. The point is not that we all feel this way occasionally (although it’s true and doesn’t mean you have low self-esteem because you don’t always wake up like this), but that it’s possible to change your attitude and feel better.

The following is a list of things that make me feel better and ready to face the day. Any combination of these (or none of them) may work for you. Here we go:

  1. Get out of bed as soon as you wake up. I have a tendency to want to stay in bed all morning. Sometimes it’s fine. Sometimes it makes me feel gross. Get up as soon as you wake up, then make the bed immediately. This will make you feel better.
  2. Shower and shave. There’s something so calming about cleanliness. Shaving always makes me feel so clean!
  3. Go somewhere. Going out with friends is a way for me to feel a part of society and not alone. You never want to go, because it’s easier to stay at home and wallow, but make yourself and you won’t (probably) regret it!
  4. Go somewhere alone. Sometimes you just need to get out of the house. I recommend taking a book to a cafe.
  5. Get a good workout. Just one good workout will improve your spirits. I mean a good one, though–where you push yourself and really try!
  6. Try a new routine. Mix it up! Try a different perfume/lotion/shampoo. Don’t just do things you always do in a different order (although that would help too), try something new. Add a jog to your morning routine. Buy new foods. Eat something different for breakfast! On that note:
  7. Cook a meal. Even if it’s just for you, there’s something so rewarding about creating a beautiful and delicious meal from a few ingredients.
  8. Take a chance. Doesn’t matter what it is. Do something not just new, but that you would never do normally. Ask a guy on a date instead of waiting to be asked. Wear that dress you never thought you could pull off. Be daring, darling.
  9. Put the phone down. Take just an afternoon/evening to turn off your phone and enjoy no electronics. Really try to connect to the people around you.
  10. Smile. Find something to laugh about. Don’t have anything? Fake it. You’ll feel it soon enough.

My favorite quote when I’m feeling a bit depressed is something I saw on a tweet from Lea Michele. Her boyfriend died recently, so I found the advice especially meaningful:

Fullscreen capture 12282013 52917 PM.bmpThis is one of my favorite quotes. It hit me so hard, I wrote it on my mirror! There are a million things you can do to shake the bad feelings away. Find your own way of doing things and make yourself happy! <3

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

 

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Blue Door

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There’s this fantastic blue door by the park across from where I work.

Speaking of where I work, my lack of posts are directly to related to how much fun I have with my job + starting a new semester + new projects coming up in the future,

BUT I love this blog so much, it’s always been my first love, and I feel really bad for neglecting it–BECAUSE I like being able to say that I can follow through with something. It’s now been over TWO years that I’ve had this blog! I can hardly believe that! Two! Years!

So how will I fix my lack of commitment as of late?

  • Take my camera with me more places
  • Actually take pictures of things
  • Make time to write something to go along with the pictures!

How simple of a list is that? Totally do-able. A goal-setting tip–make achievable goals. My goal for this week is 3 posts that are fashion, photography, or food! (Or make-up, but NOT dating. No more dating posts for a bit.)

I’m also thinking of going back to a more bloggy layout instead of excerpts. Thoughts? Input? I’m not totally alone in this fight for motivation, am I?

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

Sometimes you have to say something

This post doesn’t particularly fit in well with the usual vibe of the site, but it fits in well with my personal beliefs.

Simply put:

Co-authors tried to publish a book, but the UT publishers cancelled it within days of publication because one of the authors (who is gay) wanted to put that he lives with his partner–saying that their projected LDS audience wouldn’t buy it with the word “partner” in bio section of the book.

This PDF explains it and has the attached emails that clearly show discrimination based on sexual preference. I’m very offended by the publishers’ remarks and how the situation was handled.

The publishers aren’t affiliated with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, so this was not a “Church” decision. In fact, the church’s official statement on homosexuality, taken from MormonsAndGays.org, is:

The experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is. Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them. With love and understanding, the Church reaches out to all God’s children, including our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters.

Whether or not you agree with the LDS standpoint on gays and marriage (or most churches, for that matter), the church does not support hate or bigotry towards anyone. As someone that lives in Utah, is LDS and supports the pursuit of happiness, I am disappointed in the ignorance that spawned this unfortunate situation.

I really recommend reading the PDF linked above, especially the emails. Warning: if you’re a human being with a soul, this might infuriate you.

Thanks for reading.

Why Doesn’t He Like Me?

Every single human being is guilty for wondering at some point or another why someone else isn’t romantically into them.

I am. Frequently. It’s the worst feeling–and we handle it differently: Some of us whine to our friends who tell us that “he doesn’t know what he’s missing,” or something similar–that it couldn’t possibly be our fault and we believe them, then go on exactly as before.

Some of us whine to wine bottles and convince ourselves that if we were only taller, thinner, tanner, prettier, etc–that then we’d finally be good enough for him.

We might be heartbroken that they didn’t return our love-at-first-date. Sometimes, we don’t even like the guy until we realize he doesn’t seem to like us either! What is wrong with us, ladies?

It’s got to be part of human nature, but unrequited love is the worst, most heart-sinking feeling in the world–I think it’s worse than being broken up with. Why? Because when you break up, it hurts like every expletive in the book; but, you usually don’t see that person as often, you don’t spend time with them, it doesn’t last as long, and you don’t have to pretend like you’re not seriously sad on the inside.

So what are we supposed to do? Try not to care. Be the best you that you can be in all areas of life (mental, physical, emotional, etc.). Develop yourself. If the guy you like doesn’t like you back, so what? There is someone that will–and we deserve someone that wants us!

Wise words:

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Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to like me. People will tell you all sorts of excuses to make you feel better, but maybe, *takes off sunglasses* he’s just not that into you. P.S. If you haven’t seen that movie, watch it.

As long as I like myself, it won’t matter and I can be happy with friendship! In case that isn’t satisfying enough, here are some reasons he might not like you:

  1. You have nothing in common. You’re more attracted to people who share your interests. If you love music and he hates music, it’s going to be annoying.
  2. You’re  not the type of girl he is attracted to physically (I like tall dark and handsome, and tend to find mountain-type men more attractive than those with boyish looks. Everyone has a type. If you’re not his type, it doesn’t mean you’re not attractive.)
  3. You don’t have the personality traits he’s looking for. Maybe he wants someone who wants to be a housewife and pop out kids. Maybe you want to be the next Hilary Clinton, so he doesn’t even bother because it’d probably be easier to find someone who wants what you want than dealing with a relationship where you want opposite things.
  4. You are smelly and live in your parents basement. Some guys might not mind, but some will. If it bothers you that much, try doing better with your personal hygiene and work towards getting your own apartment.

Don’t change yourself so someone will like you. Change yourself so you will like you and then people that are like you will also like you.

Other resources (terrible, R-Rated NSFW language–like seriously, seriously…I wouldn’t post except her points are straight on. You’ve been warned. It applies to men AND ladies):

So what now? They don’t like you, so you can hate them and be bitter, right? NO! Christopher Davidson says:

You should be nice to a girl (or people in general), just to be nice, not because you expect romance or sex in return. No one owes you anything. As for “nice [girls]“, stop going for [men] out of your league. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and work on your confidence. [Men] don’t like pushovers or [girls] who are too clingy. They like nice [girls] who are confident, strong, and are exciting.

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

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Old Feelings

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I like to protect my heart from hurt and intense feelings. I don’t know why, but I know writing is my cure. I was looking through old files on my laptop and came across this short explanation of the feelings I had, typed after breaking things off with with the same guy that inspired me to write this. Warning: if you know me, this might be super weird for you to have such a personal, up-close view into my heart. Also, I suppose I have to disclaim that these are not current feelings–but from almost 3 years ago!

I don’t really know how I feel right now. My heart hurts, almost like I’m going to cry. The top of my stomach hurts, too. Like I’m going to be sick. This has to be one of the worst feelings in the world.

He probably feels the same way. His heart probably jumped when he saw me today.

I hate feeling anxious. I was so happy when I drove away today. I really want us to still be friends, and the way I could see he wanted me in his eyes made all the difference.

He said “you look hot.” I didn’t say it back, but his shirt was unbuttoned and hair was teasing me between the collar and I just wanted the comfort of running my fingers over it. When I had to leave, he commented again on how I looked and said “come here.” His tone made me want to run both towards him and out the door. His arms enfolded me into a warm, comfortable and familiar embrace.

As he stroked my hair, he told me how he had missed me that weekend and how little pieces of me left behind had evoked those emotions. He told me how he had dreamed about me and his hand was on my lower back. I couldn’t meet his eyes as I whispered it had been hard, but I didn’t tell him how nights tortured me and waking up was worse.

He sighed into my shoulder once and another time looking at me. I felt numb almost, but a smile never left my lips. He pulled me in for a kiss and I hesitated at first, then he did. I saw a smile on his lips and I dropped my head, letting out a breath. “At least give me a kiss goodbye.” I smiled to oblige and raised my face to his again. My mouth was dry, I was trying not to tremble as we came together. I pulled away with a hand on his chest, looking down. I smiled to hide tears.

His hand hesitated, then left my side as he wished me luck. Without another look, I walked out, up and away with a smile on my face.

Now I stare into the distance. I know what I did and I know it can’t be undone, but how do you let go of love? How do you erase what you felt when in each others arms–secure in a place you shouldn’t be, feeling like none of the fights would matter if you could just stay like that forever. I tell myself that love is never a mistake.

That summer with him was a rush of sixteenth notes, a shoebox of smiles and tenderness, and a cradle of on-screen kisses; how do you keep that and let go of the hurt? What do I want? I don’t want to care so much. I don’t want him to still have a hand on my heart.

It’s not his fault. The more you unwrap your heart, the more he can hold it. Sometimes people throw you away. Sometimes they have dirty hands. That hurts differently, though. We were walking hand in hand–in my other hand was his heart and in his other was mine–we tripped and stumbled together and I don’t know what happened to his heart, but I know mine was scratched and squeezed a little.

His hand-print will fade, but I wish we had been able to make it somehow. I couldn’t take another chance, though. I couldn’t hope it wouldn’t happen again. I don’t have that much faith–pain took what was left. I’m trying to fill the spot he left, but I’m in between. In between him and what’s next. Hollow. One day it’ll be okay. I can’t think of what’s missing when I have so much. If I fake a smile long enough, it will become real as long as you don’t look into my eyes too deeply. I’m going to dance by myself to hopeful music and maybe shed a final tear. This is me starting to let go when I don’t want to.

We got back together and dated another year. Crazy, huh? Now I look back on this with mixed feelings; it makes me sad for my past self, but also makes me proud that I was able to describe my feelings so perfectly.

I guess another reason I posted this is for the girls dating guys they know they shouldn’t be–I get it. I totally, 100% get how you feel. It’s still not worth it. I am so lucky that I’m in a place in my life where I know what I want and I know what I deserve! Figure that out for yourself too, and don’t settle for less:

“It’s very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less—even a vague, pathetic facsimile of less—than you would have ever imagined. Ladies, please, keep your eye on the prize. Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less. If you can’t do it for you, do it for everyone else: [Good-for-nothing] guys are able to exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to.”
- Greg Behrendt

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I-am-she

I Am She: (maybe one day!)

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I’ve decided that I need to keep a list of qualities I want in order to motivate me. So this is what I stare at when I’m at the gym, or debating on whether or not to go to the gym–when I think of skipping class, or giving up on my French.

This is the kind of woman I want to be, and I thought maybe you would appreciate some ideas for yourself–if you don’t really know what kind of person you’d like to be.

She is up-to-date on current events. I chose this trait because so many Americans (dare I say American women) are stereotyped (for good reason) as being completely egocentric and unaware of anyone’s problems but their own. We’re not the only ones on this planet, and ignorance about what’s happening in the world is a fear of mine.

She is conversational in multiple languages. I had a goal in high school to learn 7 languages by the time I was 30. It was a lofty goal, and now I’m just trying to go for conversational! Being able to communicate with as many people as possible is one of my dreams.

She makes connections. I want the hook-ups. I want to be the one that “knows a guy” that can help me get what I want.

She is discerning, witty, and relaxed. I’m fairly uptight at times. I know this because I was playing a game with friends and they had to choose which Winnie The Pooh character I was most like, and everyone chose the Rabbit! So I’m trying to work on that… also, being witty is such an attractive quality. Discernment means having good judgement, for those of you who may not know.

She has an opinion. People have different ideas on whether or not this is a good idea. For me, having an opinion means I’ve thought about situations or circumstances and found where I stand. This way, I can discuss with people and learn why I should strengthen, change, or defend my position–too often do we just float through with no ability to discuss important subjects. This is my anti-airhead weapon.

She says what she means. One of the most difficult qualities for me to understand in people (dare I say women) is that there is almost no complete honesty. It’s always truth wrapped in a little box, or presented in a subversive/manipulative way. I think so many miscommunications could be avoided by people saying what they actually mean to say, of course politely and with tact. Be clear.

She is independent and giving. I prefer to be a giver and not a taker, because it makes me feel better about myself. I would argue that all people thrive under independence and wilt under dependence.

She contributes to meaningful conversations. I don’t want to be the one at the table that giggles and twirls her hair while others discuss important topics. Even if I don’t understand, I try to learn by speaking up.

She is confident and direct. I find it so much more fulfilling to be in relationships (all kinds) where you can express ideas and thoughts directly, without worrying what people are going to say. On that note, don’t care what people are going to think if you tell them you think they’re attractive–or tell them that maybe people would respond better to kindness rather than rudeness. I’d want someone to tell me. It stings at first, but constructive comments and compliments are very rewarding.

She has control over her emotions and impulses. I’m still working on not crying every time I get mildly emotional, and not eating an entire bag of chips when I do. Self control is about delaying instant gratification for long-term rewards.

She travels. This one is important to me, because I want to see the world an experience what life is like all over the world, not just read it. I want to be up close and personal, because how else will I know how I can contribute?

She is unashamed to love herself. I am trying to get to the point where I don’t care what people think of how I look–and learn to think I’m beautiful no matter what. Who knows if I’ll ever overcome that struggle.

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

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Just Wondering…

As some or none of you may know, I’m a political science major with dreams of going to law school one day. I love doing what I’m currently doing on the blog, but I also want to branch out. If I were to branch out, I’d want to do a solely political segment, where I basically help people understand the issues on both sides–and politics in general.

Thoughts?

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Summertime at the Beach

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I went to California a couple weeks ago and got to go back to the beach where I used to spend most of my time when I lived there. I used to keep a big trunk in my car with all the books I wanted to read. I would just drive out to Santa Monica and sit in Palisades Park to read under the trees, or I would just go lay out in the sand!

Going back was weirdly less nostalgic than I thought it would be. I mean, of course a lot of memories came back, but I was more surprised at how I seemed to naturally fall back into the swing of things. Driving through traffic, going down the familiar roads was as if I had never left.

California is beautiful, and I really love it there, especially the variety you find with the people. For the most part, though, I was glad to be where I am now and moving toward my goals.

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Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

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It’s My Birthday

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…and I’m feeling 22! (Taylor Swift reference that I keep bringing up)

The past week has been crazy. I went to California/Disneyland, then to a friend’s enlistment into the National Guard, then to a concert with one of my very best friends! And chocolate! Lots of chocolate!

Some sweetheart left me a chocolate bar on my porch some point between 11-5 when no one was home. The high today was 98, so it’s safe to say that baby was chocolate syrup by the time I got it! It is resting comfortably in the freezer.

Can’t wait to enjoy that sucker later.

Happy Birthday to me!

I don’t have anything more substantial to say, but it IS my birthday!

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

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New Things

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I got a new Galaxy S4, which is why it’s been so long since I’ve updated the blog. I haven’t been on a desktop/laptop computer in so long, because I have basically been drowning in my new phone. The above photo was taken on the front-facing camera! Such better quality than my old phone. I just love it! The hand controls (air guestures, etc.) are basically worth it alone!

Also, Mad Men–I just started watching it on Netflix and I honestly can’t stop! It’s so good, that I wonder why I haven’t been watching it all this time.

Also, also–I went on a mini-shopping spree yesterday! I spent way more than I should’ve, but I can’t wait to show off everything I bought. Tomorrow, I start up with the photos! Shopping is such a therapeutic activity for me…until I wake up the next day and remember how much I spent…sort of like a one-night-stand.

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

Angry Twitter

Twitter, Once Again:

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For some unknown reason, the closing at the end of my posts has been linking to my personal Twitter instead of my blog Twitter…I thought I fixed that MONTHS AGO, but apparently not.

  • The Twitter account that posts all the post updates is @LaceLollipops and is the official account for the blog.
  • The Twitter account that posts all the one liners, complaints and pictures of my food is @briterinb, which is my personal account.

Follow one, follow all! Just wanted to make it clear!

Animal Tank

Like an Animal

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I usually don’t wear animal prints, because I attach this stigma to them that says “cheap,” and other things that just generally surround the opposite of “classy.”

I’ve decided, though…who cares? Go a little wild, go a little crazy.

Do the things that you want to do and just be free!

I say this because recently I did something adventurous and fun and then I felt guilty for it…even though I didn’t do a single thing worth feeling guilty over. I realized that my childhood/teenage restrictions of “NOT ALLOWED” still grip me sometimes. And that made me mad!

I really wish I didn’t let the fear of “not allowed” (whether by society, or personal inhibitions) keep me from doing all the fun stuff I could be doing. So I’ve vowed to change that, because we simply just don’t know how much time we have left–and I’m tired of being so careful! Even when I did my one adventurous act of packing everything I own in the back of my car and moving to California by myself…I still was so careful. I just need to relax and enjoy life, and worry less.

Raise A Glass To What Your Future Holds

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Now That Finals Are Done

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I will never take 17 credits again…but finally, my exams are all over! And I think that I did better than I thought I was going to.

Also, my new sleep schedule has turned me into an old lady: I used to go to bed around  midnight and wake up, well, whenever…but now I have to wake up by 6, so I go to bed by 10.

I have to say, though, I really like that I can enjoy the full days!

My new hobby: the travel section of Pinterest.

Boring Sunday update, but this week will be full of joyous, touristy posts since this is my week between Spring and Summer semesters and my family has decided to go everywhere.

Mostly, I just can’t wait to go to St. George this weekend!

More exciting + regular posts to come…

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

Perspective

Idaho Falls LDS Temple

Life is all about perspective. Yesterday, I went to a Peace Forum that talked about survivors of sexual assault and how the culture is different here in the bubble that is Utah. A woman came and spoke, Dr. Niwako Yamawaki, who is a psychology professor at BYU. She did a really good job and had some really interesting research on sexual assault and rape. It’s kind of a heavy topic and I pretty much always leave feeling heavier when these things are discussed, but it was really good for me to hear.

Some of you may know that my plan in life is to do humanitarian work, mainly for women, so going and listening to people tell their stories was almost surreal. Of course, we’ve all read about these horror stories, but to see real people sharing their real stories, was scary! Dr. Yamawaki shared some statistics, one of which was that 31% of reported sexual assaults in Utah are those committed by family members of the victim.

My mother works in criminal law and as I was telling her about how it felt to hear all the stories, she told me how to work in this kind of environment, you really have to remove yourself emotionally. I’ve always been extremely empathetic, so trying to look at everything clinically and not let it upset me…I thought I would be able to do it, but after last night, I’m not so sure.

There are so many people struggling out there. I feel so fortunate to be where I am, and I asked my father yesterday why it is that I have all that I do while other people are struggling all around. He said something interesting, that I believe–something along the lines of “some people are prepared to help other people.”

Read more on the event I went to last night here.

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!