All posts by Brittany

I am friendly, charismatic, optimistic and enjoy the social life. I like to inspire and motivate others. I am supportive and sympathetic to the plights of others. I am reliable and goal oriented. I promote harmony. In relationships, I truly like to please. I seek harmony and cooperation with those whom I love. I am very loyal. I like praise and respect and need to be reassured things are going well. I am not one to speak negatively of those close to me--Nor do I want to be spoken negatively of. I have a well-defined sense of proper and improper behavior. I find it difficult to define my innermost feelings.

Lipstick Diaries pt. VII – Red Velvet

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I’ve seen this pin floating around for a while, and just recently decided it was something I absolutely had to get: Lime Crime’s Velvetine Collection: Red Velvet.

So I got it, and I LOVE IT. It’s so velvety.

One complaint: I’m obviously just an idiot and assumed that since it was matte, it was a non-transfer stain–but NOPE. Learned otherwise when I got a bunch of red all over everything.

Also, it’s a little difficult to apply with the brush that’s given. I used a little lip brush for better accuracy.

Final tip: make sure your lips are super hydrated before you put it on, because it can feather otherwise.

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

Tinder, Am I Right?

I wrote this song months ago, and just finally decided to put this up on the Internet. It’s not the most perfect recording job (by any means), but I just really wanted to discuss my love-hate with Tinder.

For anyone that doesn’t know, Tinder’s an app on iOS/Android that is basically dating within 50 or so miles of you. You can like or dislike someone’s photo, and they never know unless you both like each other’s and then it’s a match and you can talk to each other blah blah blah.

I got Tinder ages ago because my bestie Katrin had it and loved it and I was like–attention from random strangers? YES. And I ate it up for a while–then it made me feel depressed because I realized how superficial it was, and it’s been on-again-off-again ever since.

If anyone is wondering, been on a handful of dates: one of which is now an inside joke among me and my guy friends because of how ridiculous the guy acted.

Then I made a song about all the first lines I’ve gotten from guys when they discover we’re matched together.

Being in Utah, I imagine the first lines elsewhere can be quite a bit sketchier–so please do share if so.

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

How To: Get out of a rut

I know I’m not the only one who feels stuck sometimes: like I’m not moving forward, stagnant… some days I just wake up feeling gross, fat, alone, etc etc like every other human being. The point is not that we all feel this way occasionally (although it’s true and doesn’t mean you have low self-esteem because you don’t always wake up like this), but that it’s possible to change your attitude and feel better.

The following is a list of things that make me feel better and ready to face the day. Any combination of these (or none of them) may work for you. Here we go:

  1. Get out of bed as soon as you wake up. I have a tendency to want to stay in bed all morning. Sometimes it’s fine. Sometimes it makes me feel gross. Get up as soon as you wake up, then make the bed immediately. This will make you feel better.
  2. Shower and shave. There’s something so calming about cleanliness. Shaving always makes me feel so clean!
  3. Go somewhere. Going out with friends is a way for me to feel a part of society and not alone. You never want to go, because it’s easier to stay at home and wallow, but make yourself and you won’t (probably) regret it!
  4. Go somewhere alone. Sometimes you just need to get out of the house. I recommend taking a book to a cafe.
  5. Get a good workout. Just one good workout will improve your spirits. I mean a good one, though–where you push yourself and really try!
  6. Try a new routine. Mix it up! Try a different perfume/lotion/shampoo. Don’t just do things you always do in a different order (although that would help too), try something new. Add a jog to your morning routine. Buy new foods. Eat something different for breakfast! On that note:
  7. Cook a meal. Even if it’s just for you, there’s something so rewarding about creating a beautiful and delicious meal from a few ingredients.
  8. Take a chance. Doesn’t matter what it is. Do something not just new, but that you would never do normally. Ask a guy on a date instead of waiting to be asked. Wear that dress you never thought you could pull off. Be daring, darling.
  9. Put the phone down. Take just an afternoon/evening to turn off your phone and enjoy no electronics. Really try to connect to the people around you.
  10. Smile. Find something to laugh about. Don’t have anything? Fake it. You’ll feel it soon enough.

My favorite quote when I’m feeling a bit depressed is something I saw on a tweet from Lea Michele. Her boyfriend died recently, so I found the advice especially meaningful:

Fullscreen capture 12282013 52917 PM.bmpThis is one of my favorite quotes. It hit me so hard, I wrote it on my mirror! There are a million things you can do to shake the bad feelings away. Find your own way of doing things and make yourself happy! <3

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

 

Two-Week Vegan Challenge {Day III}

Thursday

Overall, I felt good! Around dinner, I started to notice a lack of energy and the gym felt harder than usual; however, that could be because I haven’t been to the gym in a week. Oops…

breakfast – 10:00 am

Rice Krispies cereal with soy milk and bananas. I had time to make biscuits, but I didn’t have any margarine that didn’t contain whey (and obviously can’t use butter). I thought it was going to taste weird, but I could honestly barely taste the difference between regular milk and soy milk. I’m so glad I bought that Silk last night!

Snack – 12:00 PM

A few chips with salsa and a square of chocolate. Around this time, I was super excited about the vegan possibilities and decided to go grocery shopping!

Veganism

I bought tofu (nervous about it), vegan “cream cheese,” hummus mix, falafel mix, lots of veggies vegan wonton wrappers (!!), pasta, whole wheat bread, and pita bread. I, upsettingly, could NOT find ANY egg substitute! It was so frustrating! Granted, I was at a regular ol’ grocery store, but being vegan shouldn’t mean I have to shop at special stores. Ugh. I mean, they had tons of vegan stuff, but NO egg substitute! Infuriating.

lunch – 3:30 pm

I had sort of a late lunch, but it was so worth it! I made the falafel / hummus mixes and enjoyed a savory Mediterranean meal!

First, I made the falafel balls according to the package instructions, then prepared a piece of pita bread with a tablespoon of both the hummus and my vegan cream cheese.

Then, I cut up some tomato, lettuce, and cucumber. I added it all to the pita bread, folded it like a taco, and ate up!

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I was so excited at how yummy it was! I felt like I was in another country. It’s so fun to have so many different types of food.

Not-related Adventure of the Day:

Around 5:30, I went to a master class / open rehearsal with violinist Joshua Bell. The friend I went with is getting his masters in music and raved, giggled, and skipped with excitement as the thought of us getting to see (in his words) “the world’s best violinist” for free. I was skeptical. Bell started out by saying it was just a sound check and he probably wasn’t going to play very much. Then, he busted out the full Devil’s Trill by Tartini! He played the whole thing! Oh my gosh, it was a dream. Do yourself a favor and listen to it:

When he finished, he just sort of shrugged. Shrugged! I’ll tell you something, I went in not super ready to be impressed, but I quickly was won over. He was so non-assuming. I also heard he did an experiment. I saw the article back when it was posted, but didn’t read it. I just finished reading it. You should too. He also answered a ton of questions from the audience and gave fantastic responses. I was so inspired. I even took notes.

dinner – 8:00 pm

A bean and rice burrito was my dinner. I was going to make a tofu stir fry, but I wasn’t all that hungry. I also munched on some carrots while doing my homework!

nutrition information

Grade of A- (up from yesterday’s C+!).

  • 25.9% fat
  • 12.5 % protein
  • 61.6% carbs

According to USDA recommendations, I had too little vitamin C, calcium, iron, and potassium. I bought iron vitamins at the store today, but I had almost enough iron in my food, so I didn’t want to take a pill and get too much. I don’t know if that’s a thing, but I didn’t want to risk it.

Conclusion

I went grocery shopping, to the gym, cooked my first truly vegan meal, and got to see one of the world’s best violinists perform for free, and talk about music and truth. I’d say a pretty good day!

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

Blast from the Past – Me in Selfies

I was going through old files, and can we please look at how much I’ve grown. It’s astonishing to see how young I looked! Also, apparently I was doing selfies way before I got Instagram.

2006

February 2006, original editing.
February 2006, original editing.

2007

This was January 2007, and one of my first attempts at a photo shoot.
This was January 2007, and one of my first attempts at an “artsy” photo shoot. This is the original editing I did as well.
Same shoot
Same shoot
March 2007, my prom dress. Original editing.
March 2007, my prom dress. Original editing.
If this doesn't describe being 15-years-old, I don't know what does. Original editing, minus the collage.
April 2007. If this doesn’t describe being 15-years-old, I don’t know what does. Original editing, minus the collage.
The amount of photos like these in the early years is WAY TOO HIGH. Duck face and peace symbols? With BOTH HANDS? Hello, 2007.
The amount of photos like these in the early years is WAY TOO HIGH. Duck face and peace symbols? With BOTH HANDS? Hello, 2007. Re-edited for quality.
July 2007, a couple weeks after I turned 16. This was at Governor's School (6 week summer program for gifted students, I went for music). This is where I started branching out with my style, hair & makeup...thank goodness.
July 2007, a couple weeks after I turned 16. This was at Governor’s School (6 week summer program for gifted students, I went for music). This is where I started branching out with my style, hair & makeup…thank goodness. Original edit.
August 2007. I've always loved this photo for whatever reason. It's sooo early 2000s.
August 2007. I’ve always loved this photo for whatever reason. It’s sooo early 2000s. Original edit.

2008

May 2008. I had way more freckles back then. I was also obsessed with my eyes.
A month before my 17th birthday in May 2008. I had way more freckles back then. I was also obsessed with my eyes. Original edit.
October 2008, I borrowed my mom's shirt and jacket from the 80s.
October 2008, I borrowed my mom’s shirt and jacket from the 80s.

2009

One of the only photos I took of myself in 2009. The rest are all taken by friends. This was probably the only year that ever happened.
One of the only photos I took of myself in 2009. The rest are all taken by friends. This was probably the only year that ever happened.

2010

December 2010. Apparently all of my pictures during this year were taken by others, too. As we can see, I start to go a little more out-of-the-box and so begin my string of out-doing myself in selfies.
December 2010. Apparently all of my pictures during this year were taken by others, too. As we can see, I start to go a little more out-of-the-box and so begin my string of out-doing myself in selfies.

2011-2013

I started the blog in 2011, so most of my selfie-shoots since then are contained within these archives. See some of my favorites here, here, and here.

Of course, who would I be without adding a recent shot, taken today:

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Hey, PS, I’m going vegan for a 2-week challenge! Check out what I’ve done so far here!

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

Two-Week Vegan Challenge {Day II}

Wednesday

Overall, it felt like a normal day! I got tons of sleep and I think the snacks helped a lot. I do think my lack of energy and terrible mood yesterday afternoon was due to lack of protein. I was determined not to make that mistake today.

Breakfast – 10:00 am

Oatmeal & OJ again, this time without bananas. I was going to make vegan biscuits, but I didn’t have enough time. I think I’m going to make some tonight to have for tomorrow.

snack – 12:30 pm

Graham crackers with peanut butter, and a crystal light lemonade. This was filling and delicious, exactly what I needed.

lunch – 2:00 pm

I ate out again, since I hate money, apparently. I got Noodles & Company Indonesian Peanut Saute.

Noodles and Co Indonesian Peanut Saute

It was absolutely divine! I got a half-size, and couldn’t finish it all. It was spicy and delicious and completely vegan! I wish I would’ve realized I could add tofu, because I’ve really wanted to try tofu! Oh, well. Plenty of time.

Snack – 4:00 pm

A handful of carrots were my snack since I didn’t get enough vitamin A yesterday.

dinner – 7:00 pm

I finished my Noodles & Co (so yummy). I really wasn’t all that hungry by this time. I totally had energy today.

Adventure of the day: I went to pick up a friend’s car from the shop, and when I got back to his house, I was faced with a dilemma:

Chocolate or mac n cheese

Mac n’ cheese, and chocolate! I’ve been very reluctant to tell my closest friends and family that I’m going vegan for two weeks. This is mostly because I’m dreading getting the “what?!? WHY?!??” and experiencing all the negativity people give to those who are vegetarian or (especially) vegan.

So I didn’t tell my friend that I couldn’t eat his mac n’ cheese because it had dairy, but instead told him it was because I had already eaten–which was true, but I probably would’ve accepted the offer if I wasn’t going vegan. He then broke off a piece of chocolate and handed it to me, then proceeded into the kitchen to finish cooking his dinner. I said thank you and just held the chocolate until he walked away and I could discreetly read the ingredients. As I was turning over the packaging, I decided that if it wasn’t vegan, I’d simply slip the chunk back, confident he wouldn’t notice. Oh, the lengths I’ll go to in order to avoid being teased for going vegan for two weeks (and avoid answering why). Thankfully, it was a 68% dark, with only 3 ingredients: cocoa, sugar, cocoa butter—aka: Vegan Approved!

I enjoyed and savored that chocolate, suppressing a happy chuckle upon realizing I could eat it. When I got home, I was motivated by my ability to refuse non-vegan food! I went to the grocery store on the corner and picked up some Silk Soy Milk, then made myself a vegan chocolate chip cookie in a mug. It was delicious, and here’s the recipe I used (click for the website):

Vegan chocolate chip cake in a mug recipe

Nutrition information

I thought for sure I would do well today and get enough protein, but I didn’t (only a C+) and I ate too much fat.

  • 35.6% fat
  • 9.2% protein
  • 55% carbs

USDA guidelines said not only did I consume too much fat, but I didn’t get enough protein, dietary fiber, calcium, iron, or potassium. I realized that my calcium vitamins have Vitamin D3 (cholecalciferol) in them, which is derived from animals and therefore NOT vegan. It was the first thing I consumed yesterday, which means since I had my first vegan meal (yesterday’s oatmeal), I have not broken the rules once! Good for me. It was close, though.

conclusion

I did crave chicken today again. And I found myself dreading having to plan for what I was going to eat–but it’s a good thing: one of the biggest reason’s I’m doing this is to stop myself from mindlessly eating! I have to pay so much more attention now. I’m excited to do it again tomorrow (but more healthy)!

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

Two-Week Vegan Challenge {Day I}

See yeterday’s introduction to the Vegan Challenge

Tuesday

Breakfast – 10:00 am

Oatmeal with fresh bananas and a glass of OJ. When I finished eating, I felt very satisfied. Yum. Who knew veganism includes foods I already love to eat.

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Lunch – 2:00 PM

Kneaders Veggie Avocado Sandwich (no cheese or mayo/sauce), unsweetened applesauce, and a handful of almonds.

I have a lot of fresh avocados at the house, so I was going to make an avocado/tomato sandwich similar to the ones I survived off of when I lived in California. I was looking at the ingredients in the only bread I have–lo and behold, it was sweetened with honey! I packed myself an avocado anyway, as well as a cup of unsweetened applesauce and a serving of plain almonds. I knew it wasn’t going to be enough to hold me over all day, so I decided to see what vegan options I could get at fast food places.

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Kneaders, which is a bakery and cafe that runs along what I call the Mormon Belt (Idaho, Utah, and Arizona), has a veggie sandwich that I thought I’d try out. It was just under $5 for a 1/2 sandwich. I have to admit, I thought it looked underwhelming and like it was going to be incredibly unsatisfying, especially since I couldn’t get it with cheese or their “Kneaders Sauce,” which she was nice enough to inform me contains mayo.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was filling and delicious! The whole lunch was super nutritious and I didn’t feel it lacked anything.

Dinner – 7:30 pm

At around 4 pm, I felt like I had no energy and was exhausted. At 7, when I left work, I was completely worn out. I definitely don’t usually get this way. There are a few different possible reasons, but I made sure to get a big dose of protein for dinner just in case. I didn’t get home until really late, so I decided to forego a big dinner. Instead, I made a bean burrito with rice. I don’t know if it was because my body was craving protein or what, but it tasted better than the average bean burrito.

It was around this time I realized I can’t eat chocolate…or take my usual vitamins! I went to take my women’s health vitamin this morning, but there were way too many animal byproducts (gummy vitamins), so I had to settle with a calcium/magnesium/zinc vitamin pill instead.

daily nutrition report

I’m keeping track of the food I eat. It’s on a very helpful website that tells me how good for me each food item is.

I’ve used this site before, and a normal day for me has an average B+ rating, with a calorie distribution of:

  • 32.7% fat
  • 14.8 % protein
  • 50.7% carbs, and
  • 1.8% other (like vitamins).

Based on generic USDA values, I generally have too little fiber (15g out of 25g), calcium (.56g / 1g), potassium (1.4g / 4.7g), and iron (9.8g / 18g).

Today’s report gives an A rating for the day, with a calorie distribution of:

  • 27.2% fat
  • 9.9% protein
  • 61.7% carbs, and
  • 1.3% other.

Based on the USDA values, I didn’t get enough Vitamin A, potassium (1.9g / 4.7g), or iron (11g / 18g).

Conclusion

I didn’t have time for the gym tonight, but I feel too tired to go anyway. It’s only 8pm, so I’m not sure if that’s the diet talking or other factors; however, I did get “in the green” with all my nutrients for the USDA recommended values. That’s a success. Tomorrow, I’m going to pack higher protein snacks to eat between meals, because when I got hungry, all I could think about were some nice, juicy chicken nuggets.

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

Vegan for Two Weeks

One of my best friends was vegan for a while (now she’s 100% pescatarian for over a year) and said as a vegan, she’s never felt better. I already don’t eat a lot of red meat, but I’m in love with chicken and eggs and sushi. The thought of giving those up is anxiety-inducing.

Honestly, I just want to see if I can do this and stick it out for two weeks, then record my progress and feelings.

Two Week Vegan Challenge

So the plan is to eat healthy, vegan foods and still go about my daily activities. I want to see how this affects me. I want to keep track of my progress here. I’ll be posting the difference between my starting and ending weight, as well as my waist/hip measurements, and how I feel as far as energy and self-perception.

I’m not confident enough to post any actual numbers, but I’ll let you know my progress!

The Food

All my recipes are taken from PETA’s 2-week vegan meal plan. Politics aside, they know veganism like no one else. I decided to do this at 10:30 pm on a Monday, so my week starts on Tuesday (11/12/13) to Tuesday (11/26/13), two days before Thanksgiving.

The Feelings

I’m going to post every day in some fashion (vlog or traditional) to describe the meals I had, their recipes, and how I feel.

The Goals

I want to see if I can stick it out for two weeks, and if I can maintain my day-to-day routines with sufficient energy on a vegan diet.

The Research

I started with PETA’s guide to becoming vegan/vegetarian. I skipped all the celebrity propaganda, and pretty much only read pages 4-6, 14-22, because this post isn’t about addressing that part of veganism.

Vegans don’t eat any product that comes from an animal: meat, fish/shellfish, dairy products, eggs, or honey.

I need to check labels for common nonvegan ingredients, such as: casein, carmine/carminic acid, beeswax, gelatin, lactose (but lactic acid is mostly always vegan), lanolin, vitamin D3 (D2 is okay, though), and whey.

Vegan-approved proteins

  • whole grains
  • oatmeal
  • beans
  • peanut butter
  • brown rice
  • peas
  • lentils
  • tofu
  • soy milk
  • nuts
  • seeds
  • faux meats (this makes me nervous)

vegan-approved dairy alternatives (calcium)

  • broccoli
  • beans
  • “many leafy green vegetables”
  • almonds
  • soy milk
  • tofu
  • calcium-fortified orange juice

Other Stuff

“A majority of the foods you already eat are vegan, including many cookies, chips, breads, crackers, pastries, cereals, soups, and candies.” (p. 15)

Oh, good.

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

Back taking photos

It’s been a while, but I’ve finally gotten back into photography. It helps that my friend is making a CD and releasing an EP soon, so I had an excuse. Here are a couple of my favorites, edited with a (totally legal) copy of Photoshop:

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It was a lot of fun to do this shoot. We ended up with tons of really great shots. I can’t wait to post her song stuff when her website gets set up. It’s possible yours truly will even be harmonizing on one of the songs! Eee!

I did her hair and makeup. She recently cut like 20+ inches off to this adorable pixie. I used a straightener to curl the ends out a little and make it look a little messy-chic.

For the makeup, I followed this photo. I couldn’t find pigmented enough eyeshadow, so I ended up actually using lipstick! I still feel like a genius for that. There’s no eyeliner and just a little brown mascara, since her hair is naturally very light.

This is just a sneak peek, and the fully edited photos will only be available on her website (coming soon), but I wanted to show you guys what I’ve been working on!

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

Natural Makeup1

The Natural Look Makeup Tutorial

The Products

Concealer (regular color and light), foundation, blush, eyelid primer, bronzer, matte brown eye shadow, mascara.

Natural Makeup

More specifically, I use: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

The Process

  • Apply concealer #1 as your all-over base. This needs to match your skin color.
  • Use a lighter concealer to draw a triangle under your eye to the corner of your nose, then up to the inner corner of the eye.
  • Wait a couple minute for it to set.
  • Apply your loose powder all over. Don’t forget to blend down your neck.
  • Apply a non-sparkly blush to the apples of your cheeks, swooping up your cheek bones.
  • Apply a natural-color eyelid primer to your lids and blend with your finger.
  • In the crease, apply a mid-shade matte brown.
  • On the lids, apply your lighter bronze color.
  • Using the light concealer (#2), apply a small amount to the brow line as a highlight.
  • Take an all-over brush sweep it all over your face. This will pick up the excess powders and blend for a natural finish.
  • Apply mascara (no eyeliner), using either brown or black.

The Example

Natural Makeup1

In Conclusion

Actually without makeup to with makeup, but looking like all you did was put on mascara. I didn’t include this in the list of products, but I always wear Burt’s Bees on my lips. Al-ways. It helps them look smoother and shinier.

Thanks for reading, let me know if you use this and if it works for ya!

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

 

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Blue Door

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There’s this fantastic blue door by the park across from where I work.

Speaking of where I work, my lack of posts are directly to related to how much fun I have with my job + starting a new semester + new projects coming up in the future,

BUT I love this blog so much, it’s always been my first love, and I feel really bad for neglecting it–BECAUSE I like being able to say that I can follow through with something. It’s now been over TWO years that I’ve had this blog! I can hardly believe that! Two! Years!

So how will I fix my lack of commitment as of late?

  • Take my camera with me more places
  • Actually take pictures of things
  • Make time to write something to go along with the pictures!

How simple of a list is that? Totally do-able. A goal-setting tip–make achievable goals. My goal for this week is 3 posts that are fashion, photography, or food! (Or make-up, but NOT dating. No more dating posts for a bit.)

I’m also thinking of going back to a more bloggy layout instead of excerpts. Thoughts? Input? I’m not totally alone in this fight for motivation, am I?

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

Sometimes you have to say something

This post doesn’t particularly fit in well with the usual vibe of the site, but it fits in well with my personal beliefs.

Simply put:

Co-authors tried to publish a book, but the UT publishers cancelled it within days of publication because one of the authors (who is gay) wanted to put that he lives with his partner–saying that their projected LDS audience wouldn’t buy it with the word “partner” in bio section of the book.

This PDF explains it and has the attached emails that clearly show discrimination based on sexual preference. I’m very offended by the publishers’ remarks and how the situation was handled.

The publishers aren’t affiliated with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, so this was not a “Church” decision. In fact, the church’s official statement on homosexuality, taken from MormonsAndGays.org, is:

The experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is. Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them. With love and understanding, the Church reaches out to all God’s children, including our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters.

Whether or not you agree with the LDS standpoint on gays and marriage (or most churches, for that matter), the church does not support hate or bigotry towards anyone. As someone that lives in Utah, is LDS and supports the pursuit of happiness, I am disappointed in the ignorance that spawned this unfortunate situation.

I really recommend reading the PDF linked above, especially the emails. Warning: if you’re a human being with a soul, this might infuriate you.

Thanks for reading.

Why Doesn’t He Like Me?

Every single human being is guilty for wondering at some point or another why someone else isn’t romantically into them.

I am. Frequently. It’s the worst feeling–and we handle it differently: Some of us whine to our friends who tell us that “he doesn’t know what he’s missing,” or something similar–that it couldn’t possibly be our fault and we believe them, then go on exactly as before.

Some of us whine to wine bottles and convince ourselves that if we were only taller, thinner, tanner, prettier, etc–that then we’d finally be good enough for him.

We might be heartbroken that they didn’t return our love-at-first-date. Sometimes, we don’t even like the guy until we realize he doesn’t seem to like us either! What is wrong with us, ladies?

It’s got to be part of human nature, but unrequited love is the worst, most heart-sinking feeling in the world–I think it’s worse than being broken up with. Why? Because when you break up, it hurts like every expletive in the book; but, you usually don’t see that person as often, you don’t spend time with them, it doesn’t last as long, and you don’t have to pretend like you’re not seriously sad on the inside.

So what are we supposed to do? Try not to care. Be the best you that you can be in all areas of life (mental, physical, emotional, etc.). Develop yourself. If the guy you like doesn’t like you back, so what? There is someone that will–and we deserve someone that wants us!

Wise words:

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Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to like me. People will tell you all sorts of excuses to make you feel better, but maybe, *takes off sunglasses* he’s just not that into you. P.S. If you haven’t seen that movie, watch it.

As long as I like myself, it won’t matter and I can be happy with friendship! In case that isn’t satisfying enough, here are some reasons he might not like you:

  1. You have nothing in common. You’re more attracted to people who share your interests. If you love music and he hates music, it’s going to be annoying.
  2. You’re  not the type of girl he is attracted to physically (I like tall dark and handsome, and tend to find mountain-type men more attractive than those with boyish looks. Everyone has a type. If you’re not his type, it doesn’t mean you’re not attractive.)
  3. You don’t have the personality traits he’s looking for. Maybe he wants someone who wants to be a housewife and pop out kids. Maybe you want to be the next Hilary Clinton, so he doesn’t even bother because it’d probably be easier to find someone who wants what you want than dealing with a relationship where you want opposite things.
  4. You are smelly and live in your parents basement. Some guys might not mind, but some will. If it bothers you that much, try doing better with your personal hygiene and work towards getting your own apartment.

Don’t change yourself so someone will like you. Change yourself so you will like you and then people that are like you will also like you.

Other resources (terrible, R-Rated NSFW language–like seriously, seriously…I wouldn’t post except her points are straight on. You’ve been warned. It applies to men AND ladies):

So what now? They don’t like you, so you can hate them and be bitter, right? NO! Christopher Davidson says:

You should be nice to a girl (or people in general), just to be nice, not because you expect romance or sex in return. No one owes you anything. As for “nice [girls]“, stop going for [men] out of your league. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and work on your confidence. [Men] don’t like pushovers or [girls] who are too clingy. They like nice [girls] who are confident, strong, and are exciting.

Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!

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Old Feelings

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I like to protect my heart from hurt and intense feelings. I don’t know why, but I know writing is my cure. I was looking through old files on my laptop and came across this short explanation of the feelings I had, typed after breaking things off with with the same guy that inspired me to write this. Warning: if you know me, this might be super weird for you to have such a personal, up-close view into my heart. Also, I suppose I have to disclaim that these are not current feelings–but from almost 3 years ago!

I don’t really know how I feel right now. My heart hurts, almost like I’m going to cry. The top of my stomach hurts, too. Like I’m going to be sick. This has to be one of the worst feelings in the world.

He probably feels the same way. His heart probably jumped when he saw me today.

I hate feeling anxious. I was so happy when I drove away today. I really want us to still be friends, and the way I could see he wanted me in his eyes made all the difference.

He said “you look hot.” I didn’t say it back, but his shirt was unbuttoned and hair was teasing me between the collar and I just wanted the comfort of running my fingers over it. When I had to leave, he commented again on how I looked and said “come here.” His tone made me want to run both towards him and out the door. His arms enfolded me into a warm, comfortable and familiar embrace.

As he stroked my hair, he told me how he had missed me that weekend and how little pieces of me left behind had evoked those emotions. He told me how he had dreamed about me and his hand was on my lower back. I couldn’t meet his eyes as I whispered it had been hard, but I didn’t tell him how nights tortured me and waking up was worse.

He sighed into my shoulder once and another time looking at me. I felt numb almost, but a smile never left my lips. He pulled me in for a kiss and I hesitated at first, then he did. I saw a smile on his lips and I dropped my head, letting out a breath. “At least give me a kiss goodbye.” I smiled to oblige and raised my face to his again. My mouth was dry, I was trying not to tremble as we came together. I pulled away with a hand on his chest, looking down. I smiled to hide tears.

His hand hesitated, then left my side as he wished me luck. Without another look, I walked out, up and away with a smile on my face.

Now I stare into the distance. I know what I did and I know it can’t be undone, but how do you let go of love? How do you erase what you felt when in each others arms–secure in a place you shouldn’t be, feeling like none of the fights would matter if you could just stay like that forever. I tell myself that love is never a mistake.

That summer with him was a rush of sixteenth notes, a shoebox of smiles and tenderness, and a cradle of on-screen kisses; how do you keep that and let go of the hurt? What do I want? I don’t want to care so much. I don’t want him to still have a hand on my heart.

It’s not his fault. The more you unwrap your heart, the more he can hold it. Sometimes people throw you away. Sometimes they have dirty hands. That hurts differently, though. We were walking hand in hand–in my other hand was his heart and in his other was mine–we tripped and stumbled together and I don’t know what happened to his heart, but I know mine was scratched and squeezed a little.

His hand-print will fade, but I wish we had been able to make it somehow. I couldn’t take another chance, though. I couldn’t hope it wouldn’t happen again. I don’t have that much faith–pain took what was left. I’m trying to fill the spot he left, but I’m in between. In between him and what’s next. Hollow. One day it’ll be okay. I can’t think of what’s missing when I have so much. If I fake a smile long enough, it will become real as long as you don’t look into my eyes too deeply. I’m going to dance by myself to hopeful music and maybe shed a final tear. This is me starting to let go when I don’t want to.

We got back together and dated another year. Crazy, huh? Now I look back on this with mixed feelings; it makes me sad for my past self, but also makes me proud that I was able to describe my feelings so perfectly.

I guess another reason I posted this is for the girls dating guys they know they shouldn’t be–I get it. I totally, 100% get how you feel. It’s still not worth it. I am so lucky that I’m in a place in my life where I know what I want and I know what I deserve! Figure that out for yourself too, and don’t settle for less:

“It’s very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less—even a vague, pathetic facsimile of less—than you would have ever imagined. Ladies, please, keep your eye on the prize. Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less. If you can’t do it for you, do it for everyone else: [Good-for-nothing] guys are able to exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to.”
- Greg Behrendt

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Keep up-to-date on my new postings by following me on Twitter. You can also contact me through my website here, email me at brittany@lacelollipops.com, or send me a message to my Facebook. Thank you!